#now don’t get me wrong I like stuff like radioapple

[milo-the-professional-yapper]

Hello Hazbin community!

We need to talk about Alastor and aroace rep.

My qualifications: I’m an aroace who also, at times, feels attraction to others. I don’t know the specific name for it, but I like to think of it as my sexuality being in fluctuation. Sometimes romantic and/or sexual attraction is there, sometimes it isn’t and I’m completely repulsed by it all.

So, Alastor is canonically Asexual (and very much implied Aromantic via the VA and Viv, let’s be honest), and it seems the majority of you have taken that as a challenge of sorts? Like you see one off limits character and feel the need to ship him with everyone under the sun.

Don’t get me wrong, as long as you can separate fanon and canon- this isn’t really about you. But I am sick and tired of people drawing Fanart or writing FanFictions and excusing themselves by saying “Aroace is a spectrum!” Or “He’s in a QPR with so and so!” (let’s be so real, half of those ships I’m seeing are not anything close to a QPR). Please just say you did it because you wanted to- don’t try and make excuses to seem like an ally to the aroace community. I’d really much rather you draw it and not justify it than scramble to seem morally right. You’re not. Let’s all move on.

I would have no problem with this if it didn’t seem like such a big thing. Alastor is the ONE character who’s shipped THE MOST with every other character in Hazbin. That’s why this whole thing seems really icky to me. We don’t have much representation in media- I could count all the ace characters I know on one hand- and the one thing we have, no one seems to have any respect for.

I’m not really mad at anyone participating, I’m honestly just disappointed in a (mostly) queer community.

That’s all, you guys have a good night.

[justaticklishdeer]

Self Care

hi so I know this wasn't the one that y'all voted to be released first, but its done and my fear chase one is still a large WIP, so you get this to feed on until I have that one done and/or audios to post word count: around 2.6k

CW/TW: minor angst at the beginning (Al does hurt his ears a little), fluff, tickling (a lil intense,) comfort, all that stuff

uhh overall its just alastor helping lucifer take care of himself!!

SFW Radioapple vibe

‘His Majesty looks quite disheveled.’ 

Well, that was one way to put it. Lucifer hadn’t been in the best mental space for the past few days. His wings needed preened, his hooves needed care, he just needed some sort of self care, but with assistance. He stared at Alastor blankly and the deer just looked back at him with the same gaze–but with some hint of concern behind it. 

‘I’m fine,’ Lucifer mumbled. He stood up, walking across the room, ignoring the pain from where his wings were hidden. Alastor watches with a concerned look. “Lucifer-’ 

‘Don’t even try anything, I told you I’m fine.’ The seraphim glares at him. Alastor didn’t understand. He was trying so hard to comfort him, trying to understand what was wrong, trying to see where Lucifer was hurting mentally or physically. Why wouldn’t he just let him in? “Please, just–just let me understand. Or at least try, I don’t like seeing you so…off.’ 

Alastor comes closer, only for Lucifer to step back. ‘I said I’m fine.’ Alastor’s ears pinned back slightly–was he in the wrong? Surely this wasn’t too pushy of him, his partner would’ve told him by now, right? This wasn’t his fault, right?

He watches as Lucifer walks off, the seraphim yanking his coat on tighter. Alastor could see the smallest of flinches as he did so. The angel was in pain. Alastor was torn between wanting to help and wanting to leave him alone. He knew sometimes he was too pushy or too overwhelming with it. The deer walks to his room, sitting on his bed. This wasn’t his fault…or was it? No. Lucifer…

He tugs at his deer ears slightly, trying to understand why Lucifer had pushed him away so insistently. What the hell was going on? This had to be some kind of nightmare. His past traumas were coming back to him all too clearly. Lucifer. He needed him. 

He could remember his mother having constantly reassured him she was fine when she wasn’t. When he knew she was hurt, when he knew she was in pain and refusing to show him. Alastor curls up further on his bed, silent tears dripping. 

Everything felt wrong, fake, and incomprehensible. Was he ever going to be..enough? Normal? Probably not. He wanted his mother. He wanted someone to comfort him. He pulled on his deer ears roughly to try to get some sort of feelings taken out. He tugged harder, and could feel a slight sting, so stopped doing that for a moment. 

He didn’t even know why he was so emotional. He was supposed to be happy. This wasn’t the normal Alastor. Alastor was supposed to be happy, to have that facade, to have the permanent smile on his face. And well, the smile was still there, but had no true meaning behind it. He wished he could drop the smile. Alastor wasn’t okay, currently. He breathes in quickly, trying to compose himself. Lucifer couldn’t see him like this. 

Alastor was so caught up in his moment he didn’t hear the seraphim walk in to see where he had gone. 

‘Hey, hey, hey, what’s wrong? Alastor, I didn’t mean it was your fault, it’s not you. It’s not your fault,’ Lucifer said, quickly sitting on the bed next to Alastor, ‘I-I was in a bad state, I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. Al. Alastor?’ Alastor looks up, half zone out. ‘What?’ he mumbles, leaning onto Lucifer. Lucifer pets his ears gently, earning a soft deer purr from him. 

Lucifer smiles down at him. Alastor whacks him on the shoulder lightly, muttering, ‘You could’ve said you weren’t in the right headspace, I would’ve handled you snapping at me better.’ Lucifer nods in silent agreement. He winces, realizing his wings still needed attention. ‘Oh, and I suppose I didn’t need to make fun of your messy appearance.’ Alastor smooths down the archangel’s blonde hair. Lucifer rolls his eyes but allows the deer to do so. 

Lucifer wasn’t ever the best at comforting, but he was trying his best. Based on how well Alastor seemed now, it might’ve been working. Alastor teased him again with some witty remarks. 

‘I really hate you sometimes,’ Lucifer complains. Alastor laughs, retorting with a sassy, “Many people hate me already, you hating me isn’t really a pain.’ 

Alastor reaches back to hug Lucifer, and he could feel the flinch of pain. He pulled back and  his deer ears perked up in concern. He knew the king was hurting mentally, but physically? That added a whole new problem onto it. ‘Wings.’ 

‘What?” 

‘Let me see your wings.’ Alastor was firm. His tone held no reason or room for any sort of argument. He was going to see the wings. Alastor didn’t like seeing someone he cared about in pain. Lucifer shook his head. ‘No, I–what? My wings are fine. I’m fine.’

Alastor stood up, picking up the stubborn creature. Lucifer hit him on the back a few times, screeching about being put down, he’s fine, he didn’t need help, the whole array. Alastor firmly sets him in a bathtub, and that’s when Lucifer realizes where he was. ‘What the heck, Alastor?!’ 

‘You need care. Self care. And since you aren’t capable of doing it yourself, I’m taking matters into my own hooves–er, hands–and doing it for you.’ 

He slowly tickles down Lucifer’s back, making the fallen angel squeak. As expected, the six wings flare out. ‘Sweet Lord, Lucifer…’ Alastor stared at all six wings; feathers bent, broken feathers, the color dull. It was all just so rough. Alastor sighed and sat back for a second. He needed a way to go about this. 

‘Can you undress for me? Keep your shorts on. Please.’ Alastor turned around so he wasn't watching. It was his preference to not watch. Once Lucifer indicated with a little hum that he had adequately done as told, Alastor turned around and turned on the warm water. ‘What–?’

‘I’m bathing you, and cleaning your wings while we’re at it. Hold still.’ Alastor grabs a mild soap and makes sure it is okay to use on his wings. Lucifer tenses as Alastor starts to scrub along the feathers. Lucifer squeaks and his wings flap a bit, sending droplets of water flying all over. Alastor shakes his head a bit, ears flicking the water off. ‘What in the–don't do that!’ 

Lucifer giggles and recomposes himself. ‘Okay–okay. I’m sohorry.’ He felt Alastor dig into his wings, specifically the middle set. Claws worked their way down to the soft downy feathers to scrub the soap onto his wings. Lucifer practically shrieked, trying to pull away. ‘WahahaIT–! Alhahastor!’ Alastor stops and gives him a look between a mix of bewilderment and understanding. ‘Oh…you’re ticklish. Forgot about that.’ 

He chuckles. ‘Hold still…if you can.’ Alastor goes right back to white he was doing, making Lucifer’s wings flap. As expected, water flew everywhere again, making the deer shake off. ‘Do I need to hold your wings myself? I mean seriously, I know you’re ticklish, but this–’ Lucifer giggles and turns his head so he was making partial eye contact with Alastor. 

‘You aren’t much behehetter when I’m hehelping you wihihith your hooves! Squirmy little tihihickle faHAWN–Shihit!’ Lucifer tries to twist to the side as Alastor goes back to his wings, moving his claws in a ticklish manner that overwhelms Lucifer almost instantly. ‘Nononohoho wahahait I tahahake it bahahahck!’ Alastor slows down for a moment, moving his hands to pluck out loose feathers as gently as he could. 

‘For a King of Hell, you really are more adorable than you should be.’ Alastor muses as he continues to work on the archangel’s wings. Lucifer smiles, turning his face away so Alastor wouldn’t see the blush coming over his face. Lucifer tries to readjust, half slipping into the water and making Alastor bleat in surprise. Both of them burst into laughter. ‘Whahat in the hell?’ Alastor hoists his partner back up into his previous position, spreading his wings again. ‘Hold still, this might be a bit ticklish.’ 

Lucifer instantly tenses, snickering into his hands as Alastor goes back to washing the middle set of wings. Alastor rolled his eyes, fondly smiling at how ticklish the creature was. He finishes with that set. ‘Lucifer, do you realize I still have 4 other wings I have to do?’ 

‘Yes, I realize that, I'm not an idiot.’ Lucifer’s wings twitch involuntarily. He giggles and looks back at Alastor. ‘Hey uh, thanks for doing this for me. I neglect myself too often and all that, this really means a lot to me, I just want you to know that,’ Lucifer started to just spill his emotions. Alastor nodded, listening quietly, before asking, ‘Lower or upper set first?” 

Lucifer thought for a moment, before responding, ‘Go with lower if you want more water on you. Although I’m sure I’ll probably splash you either way.’ Alastor nodded in agreement. He would get soaked no matter what. ‘Oh, I’m doing your hooves too, dear. They need to be done.’ Alastor grabs the lower set of wings, getting the loose and broken feathers out first. Lucifer was relatively calm for this part, occasionally flinching and giggling if something hurt or felt a bit ticklish. ‘Okay, I’m going to wash these now, try not to splash me too much.’ 

He starts to scrub underneath all the feathers, and the King instantly breaks. He cackles, wings flapping, soaking Alastor in the process. ‘I’m sohohhohorry! I’m sohohohorry!” he squeaks out through laughter, trying to arch away from the ticklish feeling. Alastor holds fast, trying to wash his wings in an efficient manner–and effectively. It was a bit difficult considering how much he was squirming. ‘Plehehehease! Tohohohoo tihihickly! Keheheh–Ahahal!’ Lucifer flaps his wings again, a bit more desperate. Alastor finishes up before backing away to shake his head, his fluffy deer ears soaked in water. ‘I swear, you are impossible.’

‘You love me,’ Lucifer teases him. ‘Unfortunately,’ Alastor mumbles, no real harm from it, ‘You’re lucky I do. I could’ve left you like that, all messy and depressed.’ Lucifer laughs, flicking water at Alastor out of pure spite. ‘I’m always messy and depressed,’ he giggles. Alastor rolls his eyes, moving over to the counter on the sink so he could get more soap. ‘Okay, I’m going to do the last set. Do you need a break before I do your hooves or not?’ Lucifer shakes his head, determined that he could handle it without any breaks. Alastor blinks in mild surprise but nods nonetheless. ‘Okay then. Here, spread your wings–thank you. I’m not even going to bother to tell you to hold still.’

He barely touched a wing and Lucifer absolutely flinched away. Alastor smiles, ‘Oh, Luci, you have to be a good little tickle angel if you want this to be over!~’ 

The angel blushes at that. This wasn’t even supposed to be a tickling thing and yet here they were. ‘Kehehheh–! Nohohoho! Mahahahaybe I dohohont want it tohoho be ovheheher!” Lucifer squirmed, trying to arch away as Alastor slowly wriggled his claws under the feathers. Lucifer snorted and made a sound similar to a goat, making Alastor pause. ‘Oh, so I’m not the only one who makes animal noises, hm?’ Alastor goes right back to it, watching as Lucifer laughs and bleats. ‘Okay, wait wait wait, hohold stihill!’ Alastor started giggling just at the sight of the demon wriggling like this.

‘Here, I’m gonna get the base of your win–’

‘NOHO!’ 

‘Yes, I have to,’ Alastor laughs in amusement, starting to massage and clean that area. Lucifer’s laughter went silent for a couple seconds. As soon as he got his breath back, he cackled out, ‘Stahahhahap! Stahahp! Too–Toohohoo muhuhuch! Plehehehease–!” Alastor finishes up as quickly as he could. Sitting back and admiring how shiny the feathers were now. ‘Look at you, all prettied up.’ 

‘Shuhut up, you…you stuhupid deer..’ Lucifer folds his wings, admiring them himself before adjusting himself so Alastor could do his hooves. ‘Just…just get on with it. I don’t know how ticklish they are, I’ve never really, like, gotten tickled on them or whatever so–’ Alastor nods, giving him a little kiss on the forehead to shut him up. 

‘Hooves.’

Alastor grabs a stool and sits down by Lucifer’s hooves. He grabs one and starts to file it down, and Lucifer’s other hoof kicks, the deer barely dodging it. ‘God–so you are ticklish here. Not too surprising, considering mine are relatively bad as well.’ He continues to file and scrub the hoof, making Lucifer absolutely lose it. His implike tail wags a bit as he tries to pull his leg back. ‘Seheheriously! I’m—ehheheh–too tihihihicklish for thihis!’ Lucifer kicks again with a bleat. Alastor decided to try something. ‘So there’s this spot–you know about it on mine, we both have similar hooves, so it might be on yours too–between the actual hoof and your dewclaws. So right here–’ he starts to scratch gently at said spot, and Lucifer bucks and arches, a couple of his wings unfurling and flapping. Alastor chuckles in amusement, continuing to gently tease at the spot. 

After a minute, he decides to let up on the tickling, letting his partner catch his breath. ‘I hahate you so muhuch,’ Lucifer growls, with no real malice behind it. “I love you too, Luci. Other hoof, please,’ he hums, smiling as Lucifer complies. He starts to file down the hoof gently, watching as the angel dissolves into helpless giggles and snorts. He slowly runs a claw down the split in the hoof, enjoyment spreading in his expression as Lucifer makes some inhuman noise and bleats like a goat. ‘God, you’re so adorable, you know that?’ 

‘Dohohont flatter mehehe!’ he tries to tease, more giggling and happy than anything. Alastor had a feeling this was the first time in a while Lucifer had really gotten to be happy. To feel good, to feel loved, to feel wanted. Alastor wanted that too, but now wasn’t the time to dwell on his own feelings. He continues to tickle and care for Lucifer’s hoof. He finishes up, standing up. He grabbed a towel and instructed Lucifer to get out of the bath. He wrapped the seraphim in it with a small laugh at the little glare he got.

‘You know you needed all that. And I’m not just talking about the care part.’

‘I…yes, I did. I’m sorry for struggling that hard, I am.’

Lucifer let the deer scoop him up and carry him to his room. Alastor helped Lucifer get his duck pajamas on. Sure, it was a bit childish, but they both needed some levity to their afterlife. ‘No need to apologize, Luci. I struggle too, you know.’

Lucifer looks at him, a bit shocked. ‘What?” 

‘Yes, I struggle too. There’s days I won’t shower for weeks, or shut myself out, or just…fade away emotionally. The smile facade is there and I use it as I need. It works pretty well.’ Alastor gets himself in a comfortable nightshirt and pants, letting his hooves be out of his boots for the night. He smooths his damp hair down, his ears bouncing back and perking up as he takes his hands away from his head. Lucifer smiles fondly at his platonic lover and his adorable ears. Lucifer grabs the deer and tugs him into the bed, snuggling him. 

‘Al?’

‘Yes, sweetheart?” 

‘I love you.’ Lucifer buried his face into Alastor’s chest with a little purr. This was his happy place, cuddling with his favorite deer in all of hell.

‘...I love you too, Luci.’ Alastor tucked his head into the crook of Lucifer’s neck. They both had flaws, and it was okay. They were both okay where they were at: with each other. 

[bloogers-boogers]

Hi I know its been awhile but I need to ask is how do you ship Adam and Lucifer

Since they only interact with one episode and Adam dead ??

Agsisgskwushs dude where have u been??! Missed u💕🥺

Anyways, the whole reason why i shipped Adam and Lucifer is just their small interactions made it easy to imagine many possibilities, alternatives, hcs, etc. Mostly based on their funny dynamic alone (like Lucifer being a tease and Adam pissy about the whole cheating thing i was like agdjwgekwhe funny af and then THE joke of fucking him sealed their dynamic for me as my favorite from the show right there and there) and also to picture what it could’ve been? Like, there’s so many holes you can fill in there. That’s what got me so stuck with it, that you can add so much to their backstory, also, the fact that they use Adam being an asshole and stuff as a joke bc he was the first man so ‘it makes sense or whatever’ blah blah so my mind immediately goes, oh, so he’s like the punching bag of the show? Bet bet I love him. When they’re like the ones doing all the bad shit, villains, does the crazy stuff (Cartman for example) or taking the shit of everything/being the joke (Meg from family guy for example) I immediately just like them for no reason, I love my failure characters. It’s interesting cause I was so nonchalant about Adam when I first saw him on screen, if im being honest. I didn’t even blink an eye when he got killed off but then, I saw him without the mask and I was like, he’s hot agdosgslabxlshxos like i was more shock that there weren’t more people who agreed with that than him dying. But still, he wasn’t like a character that I thought of while watching the show.

BUT ANYWAYS to responding ur answer?

I just liked Adam. His personality is funny, his character is interesting. I like him. The same happened with Lucifer. He’s goofy and sad. His backstory is drawing but there’s so much left out that makes you wonder more about him. I love him.

It’s was all based on their funny dynamic alone that drawn me to be like, ay? Im gonna look them up and see what I can find. And OH BOY i was sucked in immediately agdkwdhwosueuo

And the fact that Adam’s dead could’ve made me not consider the ship at all, but the show is about redemption and ALSO hell and heaven. Aka souls. Meaning they already died. Soooo the possibility is there and we have a dead character and he was an angel but was very awful! And deserved to be in hell. Sir pentious could redeem himself (a sinner) so it only makes sense that winners can go down there too! If they’re deserving of it and obviously Adam was deserving of it agrlwbdkwdbwj

My brain works like that it’s silly but

Adam/ bad winner+ dying = sinner

Sir pentious/ ?? (This is a whole other rant I don’t want to dive in to abdoabdwksk) I do believe Sir pentious could’ve gotten to heaven regardless, but I feel it could’ve been written off better just cause … i mean, yeah, he sacrificed himself but like u can still sacrifice for the people that matter to u and STILL be a bad person/do bad things?? Im just saying ok??

Anyways, he’s now dead (again) and a winner.

Point be told. In this show it’s possible for him to come back (I don’t care if he was killed with angelic steel im ignoring it everything’s possible skgdakdvakvdw) and it doesn’t even matter if he doesn’t return in the actual show. In this universe u can still picture a sinner Adam and it would make sense??

Cause it’s hell and heaven we’re talkin’ about. And it’s fiction too so u can create your own story and it just I REALLY LOVE THEM.

Also other ships weren’t interesting enough for me to get stuck on them. I initially shipped Alastor and Lucifer the moment they were on screen and bf they got popular! Bc i thought their dynamic FUNNY/INTERESTING. Thats what gets me into shipping. It must be funny but also u can add some lore into it. I think I’ve mentioned this before with kyman.

But yeah, don’t get me wrong I like radioapple but once the popularity hit off and different hcs and the thousands of interpretations of the characters started coming out, i dunno i couldn’t keep up and I just kinda just stirred away from it. I ship basically everything on that show, it doesn’t even matter skgdwlshow so I’m open for any ship there is on there but adamsapple? MWAH. Always.

Sbdowosbdk thennnnnnn I started reading amazing fics about them and boi u can imagine how good they were!!

Anyways sorry for the long rant. In short. Adamsapple for the win 🥇💕💕👏🏼👏🏼